1
00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:03,762
Adult Adam: <i>Anyone who has a big brother</i>

2
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:06,230
<i>will tell you that quality
time together looks like this.</i>

3
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:06,939
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Aah!

4
00:00:07,139 --> 00:00:09,807
<i>But my brother, Barry,
took it to another level.</i>

5
00:00:09,807 --> 00:00:12,041
- Barry: Atomic elbow drop!
- Adam: Ohh!

6
00:00:12,075 --> 00:00:13,543
Come here!

7
00:00:13,577 --> 00:00:15,911
<i>Most big brothers were content
with wedgies and noogies,</i>

8
00:00:15,911 --> 00:00:17,144
Nooooo! <i>But not mine.</i>

9
00:00:17,179 --> 00:00:18,679
<i>There was the butt hat... </i>

10
00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:21,348
Oh! Look... your new hat fits perfectly.

11
00:00:21,383 --> 00:00:23,984
<i>The waffle belly... </i>
Smells like home cooking.

12
00:00:24,019 --> 00:00:25,619
Why are you like this?!

13
00:00:25,654 --> 00:00:27,354
We're gonna get some waffles.

14
00:00:27,389 --> 00:00:30,257
<i>And the one I wouldn't
wish on my worst enemy... </i>

15
00:00:30,292 --> 00:00:31,492
<i>the jock-xygen mask.</i>

16
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:34,327
Yeah. Breathe it in.

17
00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:35,661
[Muffled scream]

18
00:00:35,695 --> 00:00:38,709
<i>And like any tormenter, Barry
fell in love with a show</i>

19
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,542
<i>That made bitting people up an art form.</i>

20
00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:42,276
All: Ooooooh

21
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,644
That hurt. That hurt.

22
00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:44,945
What are you watching?

23
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,380
"American Gladiators."

24
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,816
It mixes showbiz, patriotism, and spandex

25
00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:51,684
for a trifecta of viewing pleasure.

26
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,253
They pit grossly muscular
warriors with cartoonish names

27
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,188
against accountants and dental hygienists

28
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,223
in feats of strength.

29
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,191
Wow... so many new and creative ways

30
00:00:59,191 --> 00:01:00,658
for people to hurt each other.

31
00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:02,027
<i>And Barry wasted no time</i>

32
00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:04,262
<i>using those new and creative
ways to hurt someone... </i>

33
00:01:04,662 --> 00:01:05,929
<i>me.</i>

34
00:01:05,929 --> 00:01:06,728
Why?!

35
00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:08,330
You've been gladiated.

36
00:01:08,364 --> 00:01:09,431
That's not even a word!

37
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:12,167
Whoo!

38
00:01:12,201 --> 00:01:14,770
<i>Yep, Barry didn't just watch
"Gladiators "... he lived it.</i>

39
00:01:14,804 --> 00:01:16,972
<i>When he'd hang out with
the Jenkintown posse,</i>

40
00:01:17,006 --> 00:01:18,840
<i>it's all they talked about.</i>

41
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,042
Whoo! [Laughs] Ohh!

42
00:01:20,076 --> 00:01:22,778
Goldberg! Reigning champion of powerball.

43
00:01:22,812 --> 00:01:24,413
You destroyed that food! Yeah!

44
00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:25,680
And scratched my retina.

45
00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:28,851
I'm unstoppable. <i>I own</i> this parking lot.

46
00:01:28,885 --> 00:01:30,886
Sure do, bro. [Store bell chimes]

47
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:33,021
Ohhhh, crap.

48
00:01:33,056 --> 00:01:35,157
<i>It was the Meadowbrook mafia,</i>

49
00:01:35,191 --> 00:01:38,193
<i>a rival wannabe posse
from the next town over.</i>

50
00:01:38,193 --> 00:01:39,727
The Meadowbrook a.

51
00:01:39,761 --> 00:01:41,062
Those guys are crazy.

52
00:01:41,096 --> 00:01:42,530
Yo, I know their leader.

53
00:01:42,532 --> 00:01:45,065
He got kicked out of my tennis
camp for disruptive behavior.

54
00:01:46,201 --> 00:01:49,803
Look who it is... the jenkinturd posse.

55
00:01:49,803 --> 00:01:51,938
Shut up, Bradley. You
know it's "Jenkintown."

56
00:01:51,938 --> 00:01:53,872
Hey, why don't you take your ice cream

57
00:01:53,907 --> 00:01:56,541
and go back to that stupid
friendly's parking lot

58
00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:57,675
you always hang out at?

59
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:59,710
Can't... it got converted
to a daycare center,

60
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,545
and they don't take
too kindly to loiterers.

61
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,014
That means we got to kick
your lame crew out of here.

62
00:02:04,014 --> 00:02:05,181
[Scoffs] Lame?!

63
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:08,117
We got madman Schwartz, naked rob,

64
00:02:08,151 --> 00:02:11,354
and the original ladies' man, Andy Cogan.

65
00:02:11,388 --> 00:02:13,389
Hide your sisters, boys.

66
00:02:13,423 --> 00:02:15,324
But, truth be told, I respect women.

67
00:02:15,392 --> 00:02:17,026
You got nothing on<i> my</i> crew.

68
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:20,429
We got psycho Mikowitz,
diagnosed with mild depression.

69
00:02:20,429 --> 00:02:22,197
It's a constant numbness, yo.

70
00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:23,865
That's Josh Millstein-Chang.

71
00:02:23,899 --> 00:02:25,667
Yes... of Millstein-Chang Toyota.

72
00:02:25,701 --> 00:02:26,868
And Subaru.

73
00:02:26,902 --> 00:02:28,970
And that's Dumb Doug.

74
00:02:29,005 --> 00:02:31,339
Don't be fooled. It's an ironic nickname.

75
00:02:31,374 --> 00:02:33,375
Brandeis early admission, Holmes!

76
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,109
So beat it or eat it.

77
00:02:35,109 --> 00:02:36,109
Hey.

78
00:02:36,144 --> 00:02:39,480
Everyone knows that the JTP territory

79
00:02:39,514 --> 00:02:41,448
runs from this wawa

80
00:02:41,483 --> 00:02:44,918
all the way down to that weird church.

81
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,158
Not anymore.

82
00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:52,859
Boop!

83
00:02:52,894 --> 00:02:55,229
Ooh! Sweet treat to the face!

84
00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:56,997
Come on, Barry. Do something.

85
00:02:56,997 --> 00:02:58,264
Don't take that, man. Go. Come on.

86
00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:02,702
That's what I thought.

87
00:03:02,969 --> 00:03:04,603
<i>For the first time in his life,</i>

88
00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:05,970
<i>Barry was faced with an opponent</i>

89
00:03:06,005 --> 00:03:07,072
<i>that he couldn't defeat</i>

90
00:03:07,106 --> 00:03:08,440
<i>with a butt hat or a waffle belly.</i>

91
00:03:08,474 --> 00:03:10,208
Let's go, boys. [Chuckles]

92
00:03:10,242 --> 00:03:11,309
He booped me.

93
00:03:11,344 --> 00:03:13,812
He booped an ice-cream cone on my nose,

94
00:03:13,846 --> 00:03:15,280
and I just stood there and took it.

95
00:03:15,314 --> 00:03:16,648
There's no coming back from that.

96
00:03:16,682 --> 00:03:18,249
Oh, yes, there is.

97
00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:20,984
Back in the army, I was
a welterweight boxer.

98
00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:23,487
Now, I can teach you everything I know,

99
00:03:23,521 --> 00:03:25,289
but it's gonna take a
lot of hard work and...

100
00:03:25,323 --> 00:03:26,390
enough!

101
00:03:26,424 --> 00:03:27,691
<i>But Barry didn't like hard work.</i>

102
00:03:27,725 --> 00:03:29,793
<i>He liked stupid, convoluted plans.</i>

103
00:03:29,828 --> 00:03:31,895
There's only one logical thing to do.

104
00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:34,097
I will become nationally known

105
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:35,998
as television's greatest warrior,

106
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:38,000
and that parking lot will be mine.

107
00:03:38,035 --> 00:03:40,036
I thought we were gonna
do a whole thing together.

108
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:41,037
We are not.

109
00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:42,004
Adam!

110
00:03:42,039 --> 00:03:43,272
Whatever it is, no.

111
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:45,975
Now, go get your nerdy video camera.

112
00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:48,077
I got to make myself an audition tape.

113
00:03:48,077 --> 00:03:49,344
Why would I help you?

114
00:03:49,378 --> 00:03:51,813
All you do is make my life a living hell.

115
00:03:51,847 --> 00:03:53,848
If you don't help me,
it'll get a lot worse.

116
00:03:53,883 --> 00:03:55,116
Mark my words.

117
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:58,686
There'll be no butt
un-wedgied, no Willy un-wetted,

118
00:03:58,687 --> 00:03:59,987
and no nurple un-purpled.

119
00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:04,491
It'll be a 24-hour-a-day,
full-body beat down.

120
00:04:04,491 --> 00:04:06,392
[Groans] Fine. I'll do it.

121
00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:07,393
Yes!

122
00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,027
Time to get pumped!

123
00:04:09,062 --> 00:04:10,963
Celebratory butt hat!

124
00:04:10,997 --> 00:04:11,764
No!

125
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:13,398
This is not a celebration!

126
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,234
 I'm twisted up inside 

127
00:04:15,268 --> 00:04:19,404
 But nonetheless I
feel the need to say 

128
00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:22,908
 I don't know the future 

129
00:04:22,942 --> 00:04:24,912
 But the past keeps
getting clearer every day 

130
00:04:24,937 --> 00:04:26,745
<i>Synced and Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com</i>

131
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,547
<i>It was November 2, 1980-something,</i>

132
00:04:28,581 --> 00:04:31,249
<i>and the presidential election
between Reagan and Mondale</i>

133
00:04:31,249 --> 00:04:32,582
<i>was heating up.</i>

134
00:04:32,617 --> 00:04:34,784
<i>But the</i> real<i> debate</i>
<i>was in our living room.</i>

135
00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:36,686
Everything you're saying is wrong!

136
00:04:36,721 --> 00:04:38,955
There's only one choice, and it's Mondale.

137
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:41,291
That nerd can't compete with Reagan.

138
00:04:41,325 --> 00:04:42,859
Reagan likes jelly beans.

139
00:04:42,893 --> 00:04:45,061
He's got the hair of a Greek God.

140
00:04:45,096 --> 00:04:46,296
What's not to like?

141
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,198
Well, I care about the issues.

142
00:04:48,232 --> 00:04:50,333
There's only one issue
that matters in this race,

143
00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:51,501
and that's taxes.

144
00:04:51,535 --> 00:04:54,104
Mondale specifically
said he would raise them.

145
00:04:54,138 --> 00:04:55,705
That's all you care about... taxes?

146
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,006
Yes!

147
00:04:57,041 --> 00:04:59,275
Why do you think we had
Adam? He was a write-off.

148
00:04:59,310 --> 00:05:01,511
Murray, change the
channel. "T.J. Hooker's" on.

149
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:03,746
Mom, we're talking about
important issues right now.

150
00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:05,048
Who are<i> you</i> gonna vote for?

151
00:05:05,082 --> 00:05:06,349
Murray, who am I gonna vote for?

152
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:07,517
- Reagan.
- Reagan.

153
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:09,953
Mom, you can't just blindly
follow what Dad says.

154
00:05:09,987 --> 00:05:11,454
Your father makes me a little cheat sheet.

155
00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:12,522
What do you call it, Mur?

156
00:05:12,556 --> 00:05:14,290
"Murray's picks." "Murray's picks."

157
00:05:14,325 --> 00:05:16,626
[Groans] How do you not
care about the world at all?

158
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:18,394
What are you doing trying
to rile up your mother?

159
00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:19,062
What's wrong?

160
00:05:19,097 --> 00:05:20,564
You afraid I'm gonna
make mom a free thinker

161
00:05:20,998 --> 00:05:22,633
and inspire her to go
make a real difference?

162
00:05:22,658 --> 00:05:23,266
Yes!

163
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:25,301
Whenever she gets
passionate about something,

164
00:05:25,336 --> 00:05:26,636
she makes me do stuff.

165
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:29,906
And the last thing I want
to do in life... stuff.

166
00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:32,008
Mom, this affects all of us.

167
00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:35,178
Mondale's vice president
will be Geraldine Ferraro...

168
00:05:35,212 --> 00:05:37,547
a<i> woman</i> in the White House.

169
00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:39,749
Oh, wow. Amazing.

170
00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:40,650
It really is.

171
00:05:40,684 --> 00:05:42,185
I mean, that Heather Locklear

172
00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:43,987
sure has a way with a feather brush.

173
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,422
Her hair doesn't even move
when she kicks a gang member.

174
00:05:46,457 --> 00:05:48,291
<i>While Erica was trying to educate my mom</i>

175
00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:49,759
<i>about the outside world,</i>

176
00:05:49,793 --> 00:05:52,328
<i>my delusional brother was
ready to show the universe</i>

177
00:05:52,363 --> 00:05:54,375
<i>just how tough he really was.</i>

178
00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:57,310
Okay. Now it's time for me
to demonstrate my superiority

179
00:05:57,345 --> 00:06:00,246
in all the official
"American gladiator" events.

180
00:06:00,246 --> 00:06:01,613
Roll camera.

181
00:06:03,549 --> 00:06:06,485
Go ahead... take a whack at my face.

182
00:06:06,552 --> 00:06:07,519
Wait.

183
00:06:07,587 --> 00:06:10,155
You<i> want</i> me to hit
you, and you won't hit back?

184
00:06:10,189 --> 00:06:11,390
Oh, no.

185
00:06:11,424 --> 00:06:15,327
I will stand here like a steel mountain.

186
00:06:15,361 --> 00:06:17,596
<i>After a lifetime of taking Barry beatings,</i>

187
00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:19,998
<i>it was</i> finally<i> my turn to dish it out.</i>

188
00:06:22,168 --> 00:06:23,435
Stop! Ow!

189
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,170
That's too much! Ow!

190
00:06:25,805 --> 00:06:27,072
[Lisping] I'm biting my tongue!

191
00:06:27,473 --> 00:06:28,440
Ow!

192
00:06:28,474 --> 00:06:30,609
Right in the ear hole! Time out!

193
00:06:30,609 --> 00:06:32,743
<i>Years of bottled-up anger came flooding out,</i>

194
00:06:32,778 --> 00:06:34,378
<i>and it felt amazing!</i>

195
00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,848
Next up... the assault.

196
00:06:37,883 --> 00:06:38,716
Aah!

197
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:39,884
I wasn't ready!

198
00:06:39,918 --> 00:06:41,786
You think Nitro's gonna
wait till you're ready?

199
00:06:41,786 --> 00:06:43,053
Now dance!

200
00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:44,221
Hold fire!

201
00:06:44,255 --> 00:06:45,288
Stop! Ow!

202
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,223
That hurts!

203
00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:47,691
Stop!

204
00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:48,959
Ohh!

205
00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:50,560
Stop! Hold fire!

206
00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:51,595
Ow!

207
00:06:51,629 --> 00:06:55,398
I now give you the human cannonball.

208
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,300
Let's do this!

209
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,568
3... 2... 1.

210
00:06:59,603 --> 00:07:01,136
Aaaaaaah!

211
00:07:02,772 --> 00:07:03,739
Ohh!

212
00:07:03,739 --> 00:07:05,106
Did you at least get the shot?

213
00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:07,175
Ohh! The lens cap was on.

214
00:07:07,175 --> 00:07:08,375
We should go again.

215
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:10,110
Erica: Read it.

216
00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,911
It's everything you need
to know about the election.

217
00:07:13,146 --> 00:07:15,280
Or I could do something meaningful and bake

218
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,883
my special double-marshmallow
fudgy nut butterscotch bars.

219
00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:20,852
No. There's a whole world
outside of this house.

220
00:07:20,886 --> 00:07:22,520
Don't you want to make it a better place

221
00:07:22,554 --> 00:07:24,088
for your children and grandchildren?

222
00:07:24,123 --> 00:07:26,891
Ohh! You're gonna give me grandbabies! Ohh.

223
00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:28,025
You're not pregnant<i> now?</i>

224
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,162
No! Mom, focus. You need to get political.

225
00:07:31,196 --> 00:07:33,064
This is exactly why I
joined the politics club

226
00:07:33,098 --> 00:07:34,499
and signed up for the mock debate.

227
00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:35,967
I thought you said the kids in that club

228
00:07:36,001 --> 00:07:37,135
were disturbing to the senses.

229
00:07:37,169 --> 00:07:39,637
Yeah. That club's like God's junk drawer.

230
00:07:39,671 --> 00:07:42,473
Point is, my stock at school is plummeting,

231
00:07:42,473 --> 00:07:43,707
and I don't even care.

232
00:07:43,741 --> 00:07:45,408
That's how much this matters.

233
00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:47,377
So please... just give it a read.

234
00:07:47,411 --> 00:07:48,545
All right, all right.

235
00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:50,914
If it means that much to
you, I'll give it a look.

236
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,349
<i>All Erica wanted to do</i>

237
00:07:52,383 --> 00:07:54,784
<i>was teach my mom that politics
could change the world.</i>

238
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:57,787
<i>Unfortunately, Beverly Goldberg
was a much more eager student</i>

239
00:07:57,822 --> 00:07:59,489
<i>than Erica expected.</i>

240
00:07:59,523 --> 00:08:00,390
Oh, my God! What?!

241
00:08:00,424 --> 00:08:02,024
Schmoo, there<i> is</i> a woman

242
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,991
who's gonna change the
course of our nation,

243
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:05,459
and I need to get behind her.

244
00:08:05,494 --> 00:08:06,561
Geraldine Ferraro?

245
00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:07,895
Nancy Reagan! Say what, now?

246
00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:11,499
I mean, she is a real spitfire
with a killer fashion sense.

247
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,100
You know, not everyone can pull off

248
00:08:13,135 --> 00:08:14,669
a red skirt suit like us.

249
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,870
Forget the suit.

250
00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:18,205
What about the actual
politician... Geraldine Ferraro?

251
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,575
Oh, that woman with the
awful bowl cut? Blech!

252
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:22,076
Don't you "blech" her.

253
00:08:22,076 --> 00:08:24,578
It's not about her hair.
It's about her issues.

254
00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:26,513
Well, her number-one
issue should be that hair.

255
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,514
Her hair is fine!

256
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,649
I agree it's not great, but it's fine!

257
00:08:29,684 --> 00:08:32,986
Nancy is just like me.
She calls all the shots.

258
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,689
She loves kids. She hates crack rock.

259
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,725
She even has her own anti-drug campaign...

260
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:40,727
"Just say no."

261
00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:41,760
"Just say no"?!

262
00:08:41,795 --> 00:08:43,162
"Just say no."

263
00:08:43,196 --> 00:08:44,663
I didn't know it was that easy.

264
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,031
Let me just call Betty Ford

265
00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:47,733
and tell her to shut the clinic down.

266
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:49,768
I think I'm gonna go down
to the local campaign office

267
00:08:49,803 --> 00:08:51,970
and start handing out
"just say no" t-shirts.

268
00:08:52,005 --> 00:08:53,271
I cannot thank you enough

269
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,405
for opening my eyes to this, Erica.

270
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,774
I hate drugs so [Bleep] much!

271
00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:58,942
[Chuckles]

272
00:08:58,977 --> 00:09:00,077
But I love<i> you.</i>

273
00:09:00,111 --> 00:09:02,312
<i>Erica had lit a spark in my mom,</i>

274
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:05,048
<i>and it was about to spread like wildfire.</i>

275
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:07,884
Hello, and welcome to the
mock presidential debate.

276
00:09:07,919 --> 00:09:09,753
Boy: You suck!

277
00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:11,621
Mike Safris is Reagan.

278
00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:15,125
Erica Goldberg is Miss Walter Mondale.

279
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:18,928
But before we begin,
we have a special guest

280
00:09:18,962 --> 00:09:21,463
who has forced me to allow her to speak

281
00:09:21,463 --> 00:09:23,230
on behalf of our first lady...

282
00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:24,498
Mrs. Goldberg.

283
00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:26,867
Oh, sweet dear lord in heaven, no.

284
00:09:26,902 --> 00:09:29,269
Look at me, Boopie. I'm
all political. [Chuckles]

285
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,370
<i>That's right... in the
world's most misguided attempt</i>

286
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:34,473
<i>to make Erica proud, my mom
had gotten politically active.</i>

287
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,241
Set it up like we rehearsed.

288
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,243
<i>Way,</i> way<i> too active.</i>

289
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,611
Hello, teens.

290
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,779
I'd like to speak to you

291
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,915
about Nancy Reagan's "just say no" campaign

292
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:48,086
through a little role-playing
scenario that I wrote myself.

293
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,355
Hi, popular football player.

294
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:51,690
I'm a local tough

295
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:55,760
who slings dope cigarettes
outside this very high school.

296
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:58,096
Would you like drugs?

297
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,197
What will I do?

298
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,499
My teenage mind is soft
and easily persuaded

299
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,802
by peer pressure and the need to fit in.

300
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,270
<i>For the next 35 minutes,</i>

301
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,905
<i>my mom passionately inhabited the role</i>

302
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,307
<i>of spider the drug pusher in what became</i>

303
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,243
<i>the most embarrassing
moment of my sister's life.</i>

304
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,912
Be cool, Homey.

305
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,115
I've got booger sugar, goofballs, poppers,

306
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:20,919
uppers, downers, ludes,
wammers, and jammers.

307
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,221
What do you say, impressionable teenager?

308
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,556
Let's chase the dragon.

309
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,291
No. I just say no to drugs.

310
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,792
And scene.

311
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:28,660
[Scattered applause]

312
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,462
Vote Reagan, everyone.

313
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:31,629
Wow.

314
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,098
Well, thank you very much
for that, Mrs. Goldberg.

315
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,836
Unfortunately, uh, we no
longer have time for our debate.

316
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:38,570
What?!

317
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,438
[Cheers and applause]

318
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,807
<i>Yep... Erica realized our dad was right.</i>

319
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:45,343
<i>You never, ever encourage Beverly Goldberg.</i>

320
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,606
<i>After the debate,</i>

321
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,707
<i>Erica thought my mom was
done with her war on drugs.</i>

322
00:10:50,707 --> 00:10:53,474
<i>Unfortunately, she was
just getting started.</i>

323
00:10:53,474 --> 00:10:54,674
Again, nothing.

324
00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:58,144
We have some books, lacrosse
sticks, scissors, glue.

325
00:10:58,144 --> 00:11:00,112
You sad, naive man.

326
00:11:00,146 --> 00:11:01,613
What's this, Keith Richards?

327
00:11:01,648 --> 00:11:03,515
You gonna sniff it so you can trip out?

328
00:11:03,549 --> 00:11:05,016
Would that work?

329
00:11:05,051 --> 00:11:06,918
Mom, what are you doing?

330
00:11:06,953 --> 00:11:08,987
Locker searches? Are you kidding me?

331
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:11,523
The whole school is calling me a narc.

332
00:11:11,523 --> 00:11:14,124
"Narc" is just another word for "hero."

333
00:11:14,124 --> 00:11:15,224
[Chuckles]

334
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,192
I'm getting involved, just like you said.

335
00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:18,427
I just love politics.

336
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:20,629
This has nothing to do with politics.

337
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:22,998
Nancy Reagan isn't running for president.

338
00:11:23,032 --> 00:11:25,367
She's just a clueless housewife, like you.

339
00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:28,804
Now, stop ruining my life and go home!

340
00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,939
I think she's on the glue stick.

341
00:11:30,974 --> 00:11:34,576
<i>Erica was desperately trying
to crush my mom's enthusiasm.</i>

342
00:11:34,711 --> 00:11:36,078
Be careful with that tape.

343
00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:37,578
It's gonna make my brother famous.

344
00:11:37,578 --> 00:11:39,111
<i>Meanwhile, I was sending off a package</i>

345
00:11:39,146 --> 00:11:40,913
<i>that would crush Barry's dreams.</i>

346
00:11:40,948 --> 00:11:43,616
I hate to break it to
you, but I saw that tape.

347
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:46,752
I-I don't think it shows your
brother in the best light.

348
00:11:46,787 --> 00:11:47,954
Don't worry.

349
00:11:47,988 --> 00:11:50,590
It'll get Barry on
America's greatest TV show.

350
00:11:50,624 --> 00:11:52,091
Just not the one you'd think.

351
00:11:54,461 --> 00:11:57,129
<i>We will show no clip before its time.</i>

352
00:11:57,164 --> 00:11:58,530
<i>It's time.</i>

353
00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:00,566
<i>Ohh!</i>

354
00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:03,768
That happy father got
punched in the pistachios

355
00:12:03,803 --> 00:12:06,304
by a toddler for no reason!

356
00:12:06,339 --> 00:12:09,440
This show changes everything
I know about funny.

357
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,007
[<i>Screams</i>]

358
00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:12,208
[Laughs]

359
00:12:12,243 --> 00:12:14,544
Are you sure about this?

360
00:12:14,578 --> 00:12:16,880
I mean, you already got to beat Barry up

361
00:12:16,914 --> 00:12:18,948
in the backyard all afternoon.

362
00:12:18,948 --> 00:12:21,917
Do you really need to
humiliate him on national TV?

363
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:24,686
One afternoon of hitting him
with a stick doesn't make up

364
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:27,689
for a lifetime of waffle
bellies and butt hats.

365
00:12:27,724 --> 00:12:30,292
By tomorrow, Barry's
bruises will have healed,

366
00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:32,427
but revenge like this stays forever.

367
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:34,062
But at what price?

368
00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:35,363
10 grand if I win.

369
00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:37,165
Yo! Ad rock!

370
00:12:37,165 --> 00:12:38,432
How's editing going?

371
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,134
Did you add in those fireballs

372
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,835
and karate-chop sound effects like I asked?

373
00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:42,936
Oh, yeah!

374
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,138
It was so good, I already shipped it off.

375
00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:46,974
Without even showing it to me first?

376
00:12:47,008 --> 00:12:49,376
I didn't have a choice.
The deadline was tomorrow.

377
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:51,511
Way to think ahead, man!

378
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:53,347
Once I get on "American Gladiators,"

379
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,515
the meadowbrook mafia will
bow down to my awesomeness

380
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,684
and be forced to give
us our parking lot back.

381
00:12:57,684 --> 00:12:59,518
Sounds like an airtight plan.

382
00:12:59,553 --> 00:13:01,254
[Sighs] I know I don't say this a lot,

383
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:03,356
but... You really are a good brother.

384
00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:05,191
You really don't need to thank me.

385
00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:07,126
That's why I decided to
get you a little something.

386
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,160
Here.

387
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,097
That's the first day we ever met.

388
00:13:11,131 --> 00:13:12,331
Mom and Dad said

389
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:13,933
they were bring to me a
gift back from the hospital,

390
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,567
and it turned out to be you.

391
00:13:16,737 --> 00:13:19,305
You were the greatest gift I ever got.

392
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:23,375
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

393
00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:25,109
[Chuckles nervously]

394
00:13:25,144 --> 00:13:27,211
That's too nice for the circumstances.

395
00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:28,479
I'm gonna go hang out by the phone

396
00:13:28,514 --> 00:13:29,981
and wait for the gladiators to call.

397
00:13:30,015 --> 00:13:31,616
You're the best, ad rock.

398
00:13:32,685 --> 00:13:34,118
We need to get that tape back.

399
00:13:34,153 --> 00:13:35,953
Adult Adam: <i>While I was
determined to right my wrong,</i>

400
00:13:35,988 --> 00:13:37,655
<i>my mom was determined to show Erica</i>

401
00:13:37,690 --> 00:13:39,657
<i>she was anything but a clueless housewife.</i>

402
00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:40,958
Erica: My God!

403
00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:43,494
What horrible thing is
happening in my house right now?

404
00:13:43,529 --> 00:13:44,595
Something glorious.

405
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:46,931
Your mother is going to single-handedly

406
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,365
get the gipper re-elected.

407
00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:51,068
You can't get Reagan
re-elected just to spite me.

408
00:13:51,102 --> 00:13:52,302
Oh, I can, and I will.

409
00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:54,371
I will change the course of history

410
00:13:54,405 --> 00:13:57,073
just to show you how clue-ful I am.

411
00:13:57,108 --> 00:14:00,243
So you'd turn this great country
into a nightmarish hellscape

412
00:14:00,278 --> 00:14:01,444
just to prove a point?

413
00:14:01,479 --> 00:14:02,345
Oh, yes.

414
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,014
But it will be a magical land

415
00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:07,751
where president Reagan gives
every American free jelly beans,

416
00:14:07,785 --> 00:14:10,821
a world where sons just say no to drugs

417
00:14:10,855 --> 00:14:14,591
and daughters say yes to
respecting their mothers.

418
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,459
You know, for the last two years,

419
00:14:16,494 --> 00:14:18,662
all I've cared about is boys and clothes

420
00:14:18,696 --> 00:14:20,664
and what my friends think.

421
00:14:20,698 --> 00:14:24,134
And for once, I got excited
about something<i> real.</i>

422
00:14:24,168 --> 00:14:26,036
I thought that I could make a difference

423
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:28,338
and get people to see the world like I do.

424
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:31,807
But you've proved that I can't
even do that with my own mom.

425
00:14:31,841 --> 00:14:34,543
So... Thanks for ruining

426
00:14:34,543 --> 00:14:37,646
the only thing I've cared
about in a long time.

427
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,615
<i>While my mom had realized
just how much she hurt Erica,</i>

428
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:43,251
<i>I was hoping Pops could
help me from hurting Barry.</i>

429
00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:45,987
Oh, thank God.

430
00:14:46,022 --> 00:14:47,422
How did it go at the post office?

431
00:14:47,456 --> 00:14:49,591
Did you seduce the mail
lady with your charms?

432
00:14:49,591 --> 00:14:51,692
She was built like a steamer trunk.

433
00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:53,661
I'm not going out that way, kid.

434
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:55,162
What am I gonna do?

435
00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:57,064
I've called Bob Saget a hundred times.

436
00:14:57,098 --> 00:14:58,565
His people are icing me out.

437
00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,767
I hate to say it,

438
00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,468
but I think you're gonna
have to bite the bullet

439
00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:02,836
and tell Barry what you did.

440
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:04,004
I can't do that.

441
00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:06,206
He's your brother. He'll understand.

442
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:08,042
I will murder your face!

443
00:15:08,076 --> 00:15:11,111
Relax! There's no way Bob
Saget will pick your tape.

444
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,045
All you did was get relentlessly hit

445
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,047
in the nose, head, face, testicles...

446
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,716
oh, God. He<i> is</i> gonna pick it.

447
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,018
That's it! You are no
longer my favorite gift!

448
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,520
Aw, don't say that.

449
00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:23,356
That honor now goes to the
stilts I got for my birthday.

450
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,191
I can't believe you did this to me.

451
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,359
What did you expect?

452
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,327
I was sick of getting dead-legged

453
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,562
and my belly waffled.

454
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,797
It really hurts.

455
00:15:30,831 --> 00:15:33,399
And my skin doesn't bounce
back the way it once did.

456
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,234
But beating you up is our thing!

457
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:38,070
How is violence upon me our thing?

458
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,237
That's how we bond!

459
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,007
What else am I supposed
to do? Give you a hug?

460
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,775
Yes! A hug would be nice!

461
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,278
A hug would feel<i> good</i> on my body!

462
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,914
Nipple cripples are my way
of showing you love, okay?

463
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,115
It's how I hug you.

464
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,350
But after this, I'm never
beating you up again!

465
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,618
Oh, come on.

466
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,520
You don't mean that.

467
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,389
- Give me a nipple cripple.
- Never!

468
00:15:57,423 --> 00:16:00,525
You'll never feel the painful
sting of my touch again.

469
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,128
Now, leave my room quietly and safely.

470
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:10,235
And please... watch your fingers!

471
00:16:12,173 --> 00:16:13,674
<i>Barry would never forgive me</i>

472
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:16,142
<i>for making a hilarious mockery
of his "gladiator" audition,</i>

473
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,376
<i>but I had a way to change that.</i>

474
00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:19,509
What do you want?

475
00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:20,811
Hey.

476
00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:23,046
I know you're mad, and you deserve to be.

477
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:24,714
But there's something you need to see.

478
00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:31,087
<i>Force! Force! Force! Yeah!</i>

479
00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:33,589
<i>Pain! Pain! Pain! Yeah!</i>

480
00:16:33,623 --> 00:16:34,657
<i>Yeah!</i>

481
00:16:34,691 --> 00:16:37,660
[<i>Grunting</i>]

482
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:39,461
<i>Yeah!</i>

483
00:16:39,496 --> 00:16:41,230
<i>No tennis ball can hurt me!</i>

484
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:41,996
<i>Bring it!</i>

485
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:45,733
<i>Aah!</i>

486
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:47,868
<i>I feel nothing!</i>

487
00:16:47,902 --> 00:16:49,403
Look how tough you are, man.

488
00:16:49,437 --> 00:16:51,371
If you can take an ass-kicking like this,

489
00:16:51,406 --> 00:16:54,407
I know you can take a
hundred ice-cream boops

490
00:16:54,407 --> 00:16:56,074
from those meadowbrook punks.

491
00:16:56,109 --> 00:16:58,276
You think one video's gonna
change the way I feel about you?

492
00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:00,145
No.

493
00:17:00,179 --> 00:17:02,280
But you need to know how I feel about<i> you.</i>

494
00:17:02,315 --> 00:17:03,448
<i>You're</i> the gift.

495
00:17:03,483 --> 00:17:06,418
I could have ended up with
any brother in the world,

496
00:17:06,452 --> 00:17:10,955
but mine is loud and tough
and emotionally unstable.

497
00:17:10,955 --> 00:17:13,189
But I wouldn't have it any other way.

498
00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:15,592
Get the JTP on the horn.

499
00:17:15,626 --> 00:17:17,560
We got a wawa to conquer.

500
00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,596
Good heelwork, Millstein-Chang.

501
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:26,702
This is<i> my</i> sack now,
just like this is my wawa.

502
00:17:26,702 --> 00:17:29,337
Well, well. Somebody grew a pair.

503
00:17:29,371 --> 00:17:30,337
[Chuckles]

504
00:17:30,372 --> 00:17:32,406
Yo, Dumb Doug, give me your soft serve.

505
00:17:32,406 --> 00:17:34,641
Okay, but you owe me 75 cent...

506
00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:37,477
looks like someone's
cruisin' for a boopin'.

507
00:17:37,511 --> 00:17:39,679
I'm not afraid of you, Bradley Cooper.

508
00:17:39,714 --> 00:17:41,514
I'm not afraid of<i> anything.</i>

509
00:17:41,549 --> 00:17:42,949
What are you gonna do with that, Goldberg?

510
00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:46,052
Something I should have
done a long time ago.

511
00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:48,555
[Baltimora's "Tarzan boy" plays]

512
00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,323
 Oh, oh, oh, oh 

513
00:17:50,357 --> 00:17:51,157
Bwaaaaaaah!

514
00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:52,859
Bring the pain!

515
00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:54,694
Aaaah!

516
00:17:55,028 --> 00:17:57,296
<i>And bring the pain he did.</i>

517
00:17:57,296 --> 00:17:58,497
Aaaah!

518
00:17:58,531 --> 00:18:00,031
<i>Barry booped, batted, and beat himself up</i>

519
00:18:00,066 --> 00:18:01,166
<i>pretty bad that day.</i>

520
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,535
I... Am... Emotionally... Un... Stable!

521
00:18:03,535 --> 00:18:04,935
<i>He reclaimed the wawa</i>

522
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:07,838
<i>using pure strength and unreasonable power.</i>

523
00:18:07,873 --> 00:18:09,173
Get out of here! JTP!

524
00:18:09,207 --> 00:18:11,475
<i>Yep, there was only one
true American gladiator... </i>

525
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:13,244
<i>Barry Goldberg.</i>

526
00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:18,716
Hey, sweetie.

527
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,851
Debate's about to come on TV.

528
00:18:20,886 --> 00:18:21,819
Pass.

529
00:18:21,853 --> 00:18:23,354
I'm going with Lainey to the mall.

530
00:18:24,422 --> 00:18:25,689
I'm sorry, okay?

531
00:18:25,724 --> 00:18:27,758
I went overboard.

532
00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:29,226
Eh...

533
00:18:29,261 --> 00:18:32,796
Y-you know, parents always want
their kids to look up to them,

534
00:18:32,831 --> 00:18:34,831
but you've gotten so smart,

535
00:18:34,831 --> 00:18:36,898
<i>I'm</i> the one who looks up to<i> you.</i>

536
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:39,000
I just wanted to make you proud.

537
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,535
You<i> do</i> make me proud.

538
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,304
And just because you don't share my opinion

539
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,839
doesn't mean you're wrong.

540
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,140
Even though you<i> are.</i>

541
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,644
Erica: That's right... I<i> will</i> raise taxes,

542
00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:53,782
because nothing is free,
except this country...

543
00:18:53,816 --> 00:18:57,185
the greatest country in
the whole friggin' universe.

544
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,554
<i>No one was prouder than Beverly Goldberg.</i>

545
00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:01,188
<i>Seeing Erica on that stage,</i>

546
00:19:01,188 --> 00:19:03,689
<i>my mom knew there was
no one else in the world</i>

547
00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:06,057
<i>she'd rather look up to.</i>

548
00:19:06,091 --> 00:19:07,658
 Night to night 

549
00:19:07,693 --> 00:19:10,161
<i>We never found out who
mom voted for that year,</i>

550
00:19:10,195 --> 00:19:11,462
<i>but what we do know</i>

551
00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:13,965
<i>is she never needed a cheat sheet again.</i>

552
00:19:13,999 --> 00:19:16,033
<i>Unfortunately, the real election</i>

553
00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,336
<i>didn't quite work out the way Erica hoped.</i>

554
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:19,403
Look at that.

555
00:19:19,438 --> 00:19:21,772
Biggest landslide in U.S. history.

556
00:19:21,807 --> 00:19:24,842
You were right. He should
have lied about taxes.

557
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:27,778
All that work I put in,
and it was for nothing.

558
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:30,948
You may have swayed somebody at the debate.

559
00:19:30,982 --> 00:19:33,584
Wait... I got you to vote for Mondale?

560
00:19:33,618 --> 00:19:36,053
Tell me you voted for Mondale!

561
00:19:36,053 --> 00:19:37,120
 Jungle life 

562
00:19:37,154 --> 00:19:39,122
 You're far away from nothing 

563
00:19:39,156 --> 00:19:40,723
Dude! It worked!

564
00:19:40,758 --> 00:19:41,958
We got the wawa back!

565
00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:43,326
Well, glad I could help.

566
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,861
Cool.

567
00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:46,996
Cool. [Chuckles]

568
00:19:48,332 --> 00:19:51,801
 Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 

569
00:19:51,835 --> 00:19:55,071
<i>Yeah, every family shows
their love in crazy ways.</i>

570
00:19:55,071 --> 00:19:58,206
<i>Some brothers give noogies,
wedgies, and waffle bellies,</i>

571
00:19:58,241 --> 00:20:00,408
ow! Stop! It was a sweet moment!

572
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,475
<i>And some moms take "just say no"</i>

573
00:20:02,475 --> 00:20:04,109
<i>to embarrassing extremes.</i>

574
00:20:04,144 --> 00:20:06,645
Stop showing me love!
Too much love! [Laughs]

575
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,214
<i>Sure, at the time, you
wish they never happened,</i>

576
00:20:08,282 --> 00:20:10,650
<i>but later, you look back
and wish you could relive</i>

577
00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:16,021
<i>each and every wonderfully
painful moment one more time.</i>

578
00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:21,327
Do you know what I want to talk about?

579
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:25,365
Drugs... it's a ver... very
bad thing to... Deal with.

580
00:20:25,899 --> 00:20:27,300
Here we have drugs.

581
00:20:29,503 --> 00:20:32,504
This thing can totally destroy your mind.

582
00:20:32,639 --> 00:20:35,374
It's very bad for you!

583
00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:37,543
Drugs! Drugs!

584
00:20:37,577 --> 00:20:38,544
Drugs.

585
00:20:42,304 --> 00:20:43,037
Aah!

586
00:20:43,072 --> 00:20:44,906
He could be seriously hurt right now!

587
00:20:44,906 --> 00:20:46,207
Why am I laughing?

588
00:20:48,376 --> 00:20:49,710
Look at this jamoke!

589
00:20:49,744 --> 00:20:52,579
You don't swing-dance that close to a pool.

590
00:20:52,614 --> 00:20:55,582
You got to be a real
putz to get on this show.

591
00:20:56,117 --> 00:20:58,885
<i>I'll bet by now you've
chosen your favorite video,</i>

592
00:20:58,919 --> 00:21:00,754
<i>but not so fast, Buster... and Busterettes.</i>

593
00:21:00,788 --> 00:21:02,189
<i>You haven't seen</i> this<i> one.</i>

594
00:21:02,257 --> 00:21:03,724
<i>Stop! Hey! That's too much!</i>

595
00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:04,992
[<i>Lisping</i>] <i>I'm biting my tongue!</i>

596
00:21:05,626 --> 00:21:07,260
<i>Ow! My back! Please stop!</i>

597
00:21:07,294 --> 00:21:07,928
<i>Aah!</i>

598
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:09,763
<i>I wasn't ready!</i>

599
00:21:10,097 --> 00:21:10,363
<i>Ohh!</i>

600
00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:11,330
Is that... ?

601
00:21:11,355 --> 00:21:14,855
Oh my God I need to record
this! I'm gonna record this!

602
00:21:14,855 --> 00:21:17,955
Adam! I'm gonna show you I
love you so hard right now

603
00:21:18,155 --> 00:21:22,255
Ohh, look our baby's on TV,

604
00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:25,780
I hope we win money!

605
00:21:25,805 --> 00:21:27,805
<i>Synced and Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com</i>

606
00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:32,405
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0


